Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Entry #2

I went to a program today that's called "The Incredible Years". I love it. They give you such great ideas on parenting and how to help you come through stressful situations. There are 2 main components that I took out of today's class...
1. Happy mommy = Happy family
Very true considering I felt horribly unwell yesterday and you could notice the effect of my energy in my children.
2. Play with your children individually, if possible, for 10 min with out asking them any questions. Holy man that was truly difficult. It is almost like improvising while playing. Made me laugh every time I asked a question. I failed at that but I will be persistent and succeed!

Tonight was great! I went to a laughing club tonight for the first time and brought my 16 yr old brother with me. He didn't have a choice. I had to pick him up at his dance class and I didn't have time to drop him off. It was a wonderful, surprising bonding experience with him. I think very few extended family have actually seen this teenager smile. First of all, when he joined dance with his friends our family was flabbergasted. In a positive way. They just never thought this teenage boy would do that.
So in this laughter class I kept thinking, "I can't believe I am standing here with these people and laughing at nothing but everything. This is so frickin' Hilarious!" Which obviously made me laugh even more. The instructor of the group explained how laughter can help depression, stress, and health problems even some cancers. In this explanation I was sucked into this crazy laughing group. You look people in the eye and laugh. My brother embraced me while laughing hysterically and I was elated! That hug made my day because it was so unexpected. In the end we all layed on our mats in a circle with our heads in the centre and we laughed and laughed and laughed. Ironically, in that laughter I wanted to cry. These feeling I've been having and storing away inside me, particularily of my close friend who has stage 4 cancer and the everyday stressors of 4 children, were being discharged through laughter. It was exhilarating and emotionally alleviating to release these feelings. Feelings of sadness, frustrastion and tension. When we were done we stood up and I felt like I could float. My chest didn't seem weighed down and I was energized! I love this group I am definately attending more sessions. My brother, with a smile on his face, said he'd come to these laughter groups with me too.

:-)

Friday, October 2, 2009

ENTRY #1

My children are really close in age. I have a boy who's just about 4 an girl who's 2 and fraternal seven month old twins(boy/girl). I really do love being a mother, but damn it's hard! My house is messy and leaning to the unclean side, which irritates me but that's life.

My laundry has developed into these massive mountains littered through out our home but at least it's clean. The babies cry and cry and cry and cry and cry. Did I mention that they cry? My other two are so busy. Specifically my daughter who gets into everything, cotton balls, dish soap, hand soap, my books, pens, food, Q tips, toilet paper, lotion, shampoo, ripping paper and my biggest pet peeve THE WATER CONTAINER! WATER everywhere! She pours it on our coffee table, floor, rug other cups, paper, sofa, in her room just EVERYWHERE! That drives me bananas. Not only are the babies crying nonstop but then I step in a pool of water or I get ready to nurse one of the twins and I sit in my wet chair. My eldest boy is most often a good kid never got into much trouble! Now I have my hands full!

Oh and that phrase "I bet you have your hands full!" is getting so old. No one is witty enough to say anything else! I seriously heard that phrase from the time I was pregnant with my twins to now. I have even developed the art to know that someone is going to use that phrase just by the look in peoples eyes. In my fantasy world I respond by saying,"No shit Sherlock! You think I am so daft that I don't know I have my hands full! Can't you think of something better then that! Or how about don't say anything at all!"

Let's back track a bit to when Our family first moved to this small town. My son just turned three my daughter a year and a half. Getting around when pregnant with twins was hard so when my husband got home I looked forward to having me time and drink a nice hot mocha with extra whip while reading a book at the local coffee shop all by myself! Yes! All by myself! It was something I couldn't wait to do. My away time.

I'd patiently wait in the line up and when I got to the cashier I'd put in my order. A smile of longing and anticipation would creep along my face and then you'd hear someone behind me say..."Do you really think you should be drinking coffee in your STATE". That was it! I couldn't believe someone would actually have the nerve to comment on my non alcoholic beverage. Another fantasy retort, "Excuse me lady! Not that it's any of your damn business, but I stopped smoking cigarettes, pot and drinking alcohol for these babies and family! If I want to have a bloody Mocha with extra whip I will have a Mocha with extra whip!" I have lots of fantasy responses!

Sit back, relax and breathe!!!!

Where did I leave off? Oh yes my other complaint of people comments! "You must have your hands full!" Yes that one. I don't think I will ever escape from those words. Ever. So I have decided to give myself a challenge. Oh the fun you have as a stay at home mom. I have decided to challenge myself by responding differently each time someone says that to me. Here's what I do.
  • Relax
  • Breath
  • Smile politely without any form of sarcasm (very hard to achieve)
  • respond
  • laugh accordingly hahaha
I've said, "why yes I do! Nice of you to notice", "How many children do you have?"," Not as bad as John and Kate.","I wanted to have children this close in age.","I love being a mother! It's not that bad" Shit! To hell with avoiding sarcasm.

I am me. I am a mother and wife. I am busy. I am tired. I am sometimes sad and overwhelmed. I laugh at my children. I smile at their discoveries. I love their snuggles, hugs and kisses.

Stay tuned for Entry #2